


Home with You

by pansa1san



Category: The Outer Worlds (Video Game)
Genre: Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Game(s), Pre-The Outer Worlds Quest: The Empty Man, Spoilers, Survivor Guilt, The Outer Worlds Quest: The Empty Man, The Outer Worlds: Peril on Gorgon DLC
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:02:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24120274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pansa1san/pseuds/pansa1san
Summary: A series spanning the adventures and hardships of The Unreliable's resident Vicar, Maximillian DeSoto, and his Captain, Nash Montgomery. Along with the rest of the found crew, tales of hardship, rebirth, heartbreak, and new love follow this pair as they travel through the expanse of the Halcyon colony.
Relationships: Male Captain/Maximillian DeSoto, The Captain/Maximillian DeSoto
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	1. Getting His Fix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was a source of pride for Max to keep everything he possessed in pristine shape; a belief that if he stayed ready, he didn’t have to get ready. But in this case, he’ll sum it up to “a slip of the mind” rather than what he thought to be a complete fuck up on his part.

It was a source of pride for Max to keep everything he possessed in pristine shape; a belief that if he stayed ready, he didn’t have to get ready. But in this case, he’ll sum it up to “a slip of the mind” rather than what he thought to be a complete fuck up on his part.

In the pursuit of Phineas’s information for the dimethyl sulfoxide, it had led The Unreliable’s crew to the lonely moon of Monarch and to the famed hunter Nyoka Ramnarim-Wentworth III.  
Once she had been sobered up by the Caffenoid pills that were so easily stolen by Nash from the pharmacy, the trio made their way through the various ruins overtaken by hostile raptidons and the main roads that ran through marauder territory.  
When they all made it past Fallbrook and stopped at a bridge that went over a river, Nyoka offered the Captain to either take the uphill path that would have them fight through scores of wild animals or through the Devil’s Peak Caverns.  
Nash ultimately decided on the stealthier approach, much to Max’s relief and Nyoka’s begrudging acceptance. They would have made it through the mantisaur infested environment without incident were it not for the grave placement of a Mr. Berthold Fox high above in a Mega Mantiqueen’s lair.  
No one with a will to live would blame them if they left him to his doomed fate.  
But it wasn’t in Nash’s nature to let someone die when there was an opportunity to save them. With this determination, along with a plan of attack and an assessment of their combined firepower, they sprung into action.

Nash was to be the bait, running around in circles around the natural pillar in the center of the lair and letting the matriarch chase him with killing intent while Nyoka and Max fired rounds into its lower legs to get it to stop moving.  
Just as Max was reloading, the creature turned around with an angry screech and swung its raptorial arm at him.  
It was only for a second, practically instinct, but he brought his shotgun to his chest in hopes that it would act as a shield to soften the blow as he was sent flying into a cave wall.  
The impact had knocked the wind out of him and broken his signature shotgun. 

This angered the Vicar so much that with no choice but to use his sidearm as a substitute, he opened fire at the overgrown bugs face, hoping to blind it as he screamed quite a number of obscenities at it.  
Thankfully, the combined efforts of all three of their plasma weapons had reduced the beast into nothing but ashes before Max ended up Mantiqueen food.

From being another person that needed saving to making a mistake that cost him his weapon, Max was a pissed off mess. It was hard to miss and once they exited the caverns, Nash caught his attention with a clearing of his throat.  
“Max?”  
The Vicar knew better than to snap at his Captain, lest he hurt his chances. So he took a deep breath and calmed down just enough to hold a conversation, looking over his shoulder.  
“What.”  
Nash raised an eyebrow, extending a hand.  
“Let me see it.”  
With a huff, Max handed over his shotgun to him. Where he was so fast in determining the powerful weapon to be useless, Nash looked it over with a careful eye, fingers feeling over the bent barrel. It confused him, but he watched Nash all the same.   
“Hm. Well, that’s a damn shame. But nothin’ that can’t be fixed,” Nash spoke confidently.  
“So, I tell ya what. Once we’re finished here, I’ll dedicate my time to repairin’ this shotgun of yours back at the ship. Sound good to you?”   
“Yes. That sounds...good to me,” Max slowly repeated Nash, which earned a smile and a firm clap on the shoulder from the Captain.  
“Well alright. Let’s go finish this.” 

Turns out that Mr. Fox was the leader of the C3 Mercenaries, hired to protect Hiram Blythe. To further sweeten their luck, Nash used his skill of persuasion to allow access into their armory for a temporary weapon for Max along with their assistance in storming Devil’s Peak Station.   
With their success and meeting with the self-proclaimed “Broker”, they left with a mission to find a way to get both MSI and the Iconoclasts to stop transmitting.  
But Nash had decided to call it a day after all they’ve done and signaled ADA to dock in Fallbrook.

Nash had thus instructed Parvati to sleep in her room for tonight instead of in the lone cot that she’d set up in the open space of the Unreliable so he can work without disturbing her rest.  
With the space clear, Nash had the workbench to himself.   
About a half-hour into his repairs, Nash was unbeknownst to Max as he carefully climbed down the ladder from the kitchen and walked to the railing that overlooked the space but kept his eyes on the Captain as he tinkered away. 

If the truth be told, this wasn’t the first time Max had snooped in on a repair session. He had first heard talk of Nash’s skills from Parvati who was practically gushing over how Nash fixed her once broken impact hammer after she used it to bring down a mechanical sentry on Roseway.  
Out of curiosity, the next time they’ve taken out a marauder post, Max had taken up a pistol off a dead body that had misfired during the firefight against them. He then offered it to the Captain, stating that it would “do good as an extra number in the armory”.  
Nash set to work that same night, unaware he was being watched by the careful eyes of the Vicar who wanted to be the judge of his skill.  
What began as scrutiny slowly turned into something that Max first believed to be adoration.  
It was only until Nash was finished and Max hastily retreated back to his room to assess himself was when he’d come to the realization that what he saw turned him on.

There was something about how Nash worked that just… got to Max. The way he put all of his focus into a disassembled weapon with an unblinking stare, his fingers working diligently to make sure every part had a place and was working so well, how Nash would bite his lower lip in anticipation and the way his shoulders would tense and show through his shirt as he leaned forward to get a closer at the screws that held it all together.   
Yet again, he got to relish in such a sight, leaning over the railing with his forearms resting on the metal and his fingers laced together. He didn’t even care if his shotgun was beyond saving.  
  
It was quiet enough in this open part of the ship that Max could make out some of what Nash was saying to himself as he worked.  
“Where are ya, darlin’?” he muttered as he dug around inside a shelf for a necessary part.  
Max dared himself a chance and closed his eyes, letting his head hand between his shoulders as he let his hearing focus in on his Captain’s voice.  
“Just wait til I’m done with ya…” a chuckle left his mouth.  
“Yes, right there,” he hummed.  
“Look at you, huh? Beautiful,” he praised.   
Max breathed out through his mouth, bringing a hand up to comb back his hair. Law, the way he spoke! 

However, in his silent enjoyment, a shotgun blast had him standing straight up in surprise and effectively getting him out of his aroused state.  
He opened his eyes to see Nash knocked on his ass along with the chair he was sitting on and the practice dummy shot to hell in the torso with pellets.  
“Woo! You got a kick in ya, Charles! No wonder Max likes you so much,” Nash laughed, looking over the repaired shotgun in admiration as he sat upright.   
But to the unfamiliar name, Max raised an eyebrow and decided to break his silence.   
“Who’s Charles?”

Nash’s head shot up to see Max, his smile growing.   
“It’s a name I gave to your shotgun here. Named after the biologist Charles Robert Darwin!” he explained enthusiastically. But still, Max’s confusion stayed.  
“Ah. Maybe you never read that far back,” Nash realized aloud, one hand holding onto the shotgun while the other moved to pick up his chair.  
“Well, I don’t blame ya. The man’s been dead for about… mm, five and a half centuries. I thought you’d know him since most of the OSI’s beliefs come from him.” 

With his curiosity piqued, Max moved to climb down the second ladder to join him in the open space.  
“Go on,” he urged Nash and the captain was all too happy to oblige.  
What started as an explanation over Darwin’s theories of evolution and his process of natural selection carried on after as they talked about a multitude of things that night: the OSI’s beliefs and how it could be weaponized against the people. How besides that, people still need something to believe in. Then they talked about how Max got into the fold in the first place and what happened during his time in prison. They talked about how Nash got to be a scientist’s assistant and that while he didn’t believe in a higher power, he did believe in his fellow man and in science to help make sense of the world they lived in. They talked about how that same science got Nash to Halcyon in the first place and doomed him to a long wait to be awakened, much to Max’s clear horror and slight disbelief but Nash lightened the conversation with a laugh, looking on the bright side with his gained tactical time dilation.   
Through it all, Max couldn’t help but notice how Nash looked at him with such fondness, eager to hear what he had to say.  
It made him feel good, even if he wouldn’t admit it to anyone but himself.

Finally, Nash dug into his pocket and pulled out a wonderful watch, given to him by Ms. McDevitt.   
“My, would you look at the time. Seems I could go on talkin’ forever. Well, this is where we say goodnight, Max. Have to be up bright and early for our search tomorrow,” he spoke as he rose out of his chair.  
Max blinked, standing straight up from leaning against the workbench the whole time.   
“Our search?” he asked.  
“Yes. For Mr. Chaney, the scholar,” Max spoke. “We’re in Fallbrook after all.”   
“But Captain, there’s still the matter of the MSI and the Iconoclasts,” Max urged. Surely, he didn’t mean to put all this on hold just for him.   
“Right you are. But I made a promise to ya and I cannot and will not go back on my word,” Max spoke as if it was the simplest thing in the world.   
This is what Max wanted and it was so close now. But he couldn’t help but get the smallest inkling that things have changed.   
With a small sigh, Nash gave a lopsided smile and moved his hand to Max’s shoulder.  
  
“Now, look Max. You’ve done a mighty fine job watchin’ my back since Edgewater and being good to the crew. Don’t you think it’s time for me to do my part and help you?”  
Maybe it was the earnest in his voice that Max had come to admire but to the Captain’s point, Max could offer no argument. He had seen firsthand how he could convince others to do things they wouldn’t otherwise do, but never out of manipulation but because he was a good person and sought the better end of things.   
With a nod, he gave Max back his repaired shotgun and rolled the soreness out of his shoulders, turning around and walking out.  
“Good night, Max!” he called out as he walked up the stairs, not looking back as Max stared after him.  
“...Good night, Nash,” he said, knowing he was too far to hear. 

Alone, Max looked down at his rescued weapon and reflected that this may very well be the last time he would get to have a conversation with the Captain like this or even be on this ship. But he had also given up too much of his own life to stop now. The Vicar was at war with himself, and there was one truth: this was happening, whether he liked it or not.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I think I've drained this game of all the possible endings and even then, I hope I got Max's character down pact. Expect more parts in the future!


	2. Wreck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning came on the heels of anticipation and Max could hardly sleep. What he felt wasn’t excitement to the approaching end of his lifelong journey but rather anxiety along with a mix of other troubling emotions: festering anger, disappointment, impatience, and the wretched feeling that maybe, just maybe, he was on the verge of doing something terribly, horribly wrong.

Morning came on the heels of anticipation and Max could hardly sleep. What he felt wasn’t excitement to the approaching end of his lifelong journey but rather anxiety along with a mix of other troubling emotions: festering anger, disappointment, impatience, and the wretched feeling that maybe, just _maybe_ , he was on the verge of doing something terribly, _horribly_ wrong. 

But as promised, Nash was up early and raring to go. He even made them breakfast; a sandwich that Nash called a “Cuban” and it was served on two pieces of toasted pre-sliced bread, cystypig tumors, and even real cheese, unlike that substitute that you can find in a Tarmac & Cheese box.   
While he was skeptical, Max figured he could wash it down with a drink and took a bite. The flavor hit instantly, making him sit back in his chair and savoring his breakfast along with mentally adding “Amazing Cook” to the list of Captain Montgomery’s abilities. Is there anything he _can’t_ do? 

Sitting down in a chair on Max’s left side with his own sandwich on a plate, Nash chugged down a bottle of 2-Hour Energy Brew. Once he got about halfway, he started a conversation with the Vicar.   
“I’ll admit it to ya, Max. I didn’t get too much sleep. Been comin’ up with different steps in this search and only went to bed once I had somethin’ solid down. I just need your trust in followin’ my lead. If we’re lucky, we’ll find Mr. Chaney before lunchtime. Sounds good to you?”   
Normally, Max hated being interrupted while preoccupied. But when he looked at his Captain and saw the anticipation in those yellow eyes of his that shined brighter than anything this colony can make with its many hands, he found himself smiling.  
“Sounds good to me, Captain.”   
After they finished eating and going over the plan, Nash made sure there were enough sandwiches made for the rest of the crew and the two began their search. 

As much as Nash stressed all the planning he did the night before, he made it all look so easy. From going to Ms. Catherine Malin and renting a room to prove as necessary cover for when they went into “the wrong room” to explaining to the Sublight member that was on their case going into Chaney’s room. He talked to stall for time and leaned his whole body against the doorway to block the view as Max searched for any lead on where to find him.   
It couldn’t have gone better.   
Chaney’s panning log had led them down the town’s river and by the bank, where he was overlooking the waters while smoking a cigarette and standing by a small campfire.   
“Pardon me,” Nash called out, making Chaney look over in annoyance.   
“Yeah, what do you want?” He snapped, looking at them. His eyes showed instant recognition when he saw the Vicar, the bite in his voice disappearing.  
“Oh...hey. Vicar Max? What, uh… what are you doing on Monarch?” He asked nervously. “I thought scienticians ain’t welcome here.”   
  
Max knew that he had the advantage of surprise. So he released his bottled anger and took it out on him.   
“Haven’t you heard? Everyone’s welcome here. It’s a fucking worker’s paradise. But you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?” he asked him, venom dripping from his voice.   
It caught Nash off guard, the Captain now staring at Max in shock. Not that he’s never seen or heard him so angry before but the fact that this was aimed at a person Max knew and he wasn’t showing signs of letting Chaney off easy.   
“Never worked a day in your miserable life. You’re just a parasite, living off my goodwill. Well, guess what? My goodwill’s exhausted, along with my temper.”   
“Hey! Max, what are you doin’?” Nash interjected and Max had just about enough of not getting his way.  
“I lied!” he snapped at Nash, making him flinch. “This pathetic excuse for life is nothing close to a scholar, but he told me about the book while we were in prison. _He_ was the one that led me on a wild chase for years!”   
Max then turned back to the culprit and Chaney didn’t even dare to breathe too loud in front of him.  
“But I don’t care about any of that anymore. I just want to inflict massive amounts of pain on this guy.”   
“So you’re givin’ up? Just like that?” Nash asked him.   
“Yes, that’s the long and short of it,” Max affirmed indifferently. “Now where were we? Oh yes. I was about to beat you. _Severely._ ”   
Chaney raised his hands up in a weak attempt to try and stop him, panic clear in his eyes.   
“Wait wait wait! I know who can translate the book for you!” he offered.   
Max scoffed.   
“It’s too late for that. I threw my life away chasing fairy tales. Will punishing you fix any of that? Of course not, but by Law…” Max trailed off from his rant, noticing Chaney’s look of utter confusion and it wasn’t directed at him. He turned to see what he was looking at to see Nash staring at him with a look of distraught, tears running down his face.  
Just that one look and Max’s violent intentions were stilled. It was the first time he had seen him so sad.

“...Captain-”  
Nash didn’t give him time to continue, wiping his tears with the back of his hand and walking to stand in front of Chaney.   
Digging inside his inner jacket pocket, he pulled out a bit cartridge and held it out to him, the metal shining in the sunlight.   
“There’s 2,000 bits in here. It’s yours if you tell us anythin’ that can help,” his voice cracked, trying to keep himself together.  
Chaney stared at the cartridge, moving to take it but Nash’s free hand moved to grasp his wrist, making it clear that he wasn’t going anywhere without an answer.  
With an audible gulp, Chaney spoke.  
“Alright, alright. That book? I stole it from some sort of expert on Philosophism. Weird hermit lady on Scylla. My father used to deliver supplies to the mining outpost there.”  
  
Nash seemed to study Chaney before letting go of his wrist and allowing him to take the cartridge.   
“You can go now.”  
Max scoffed, moving to interject. After everything, he thought there was no way it was that easy. Chaney could just be saving his own skin.   
“I don’t think so-”  
 _“Now, Chaney,”_ Nash emphasized with a harsh urgency to his tone, compelling the ex-con to quickly take up the bag and move past Max upstream back to Fallbrook.   
Max glared after him, his hands still balled up into fists. Much as he wanted to give chase before he got too far, he couldn’t find it in himself to leave his Captain behind.   
They were alone now and Nash was slowly getting a hold of himself, taking deep breaths with his back facing the Vicar. After a while, he stopped and they were left in such a suffocating silence that Max could hardly bear it.   
“Can we talk?” he asked  
After a moment, Nash nodded.   
“I knew that you weren’t bein’ completely honest with me,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest and turning to face him.   
“You’re many things, Max. But you’re a terrible liar.”

Max gritted his teeth. To think he could actually fool this brilliant man...  
“How long have you known?” Max asked.   
“From the moment you’ve asked me to find that security terminal at Groundbreaker.”  
Max’s eyes widened in shock. He’s been had from the moment he tried to deceive him.  
“But why? Why did you go along with it? You enabled me. Law, you helped me _engineer_ this exact moment!”   
Nash’s disappointment only grew, shaking his head and biting the inside of his cheek to get himself to not break down in front of the Vicar.   
“Do you really think that little of yourself?”   
Nash’s question took Max by surprise. The Captain didn’t ask it out of contempt or anger, even if either outcome would be completely understood. It was asked out of melancholy, paining him to see Max this way.  
“I wasn’t aiding and abetting a criminal. I was helpin’ a friend because I care. This is important to you and I knew that. But you took advantage of me, Max! Did you honestly think I wouldn’t help you the same as everyone else if you came clean to me?”

Max wasn’t even given a breath to answer, Nash approaching him so they were standing face to face.  
“As soon as we get to Byzantium, I plan on taking Ms. Holcomb to Jolicoeur’s Haberdashery to find her some evenin’ wear for her date with Ms. Tennyson. I helped Felix confront his traitor of a friend, Harlow. And are we _not_ tryin’ to help Nyoka overcome her guilt and face her fears?” His voice was rising with every instance and Max found himself to be more and more of a fool.  
“Now what do you have to say for yourself?” He yelled.   
To this, Max could offer nothing more than the truth, staring down at Nash with a guilty expression.   
“...You’re right. I owe you an apology. I’ve been so obsessed for so long… I couldn’t see anything else. You offered me a place on your crew, friendship, and I used you to get to Chaney. And even then, you saved me from myself. I don’t know if I could live with myself had I gone through with it.”  
Max dared himself a chance to show the truth rather than just say it, moving a hand to hold the side of Nash’s face. The Captain gasped at the gesture but didn’t turn away from it.  
“You owe me nothing, I know, but I’m… I’m begging your forgiveness,” Max pleaded.  
Once again, tears fell from Nash’s eyes and spilled through Max’s fingers as he pressed his face into his touch.  
“There’s so much pain in this world,” Nash whispered, mourning this fact.   
“I just didn’t expect you to have that same desperation as many others that I’ve seen, clawin’ their way to the top and not carin’ who they had to hurt to get there.”

That stunned Max into silence, his green eyes wide as Nash took his hand away from his face and stared at him, his own eyes burning gold like the sun.   
“If what you told me is true about your anger, then you don’t need answers right now, Max. You need help.”   
He then turned his back to him, tucking his hands deep into his pants pockets.   
“We can’t go to Scylla right now. There’s work to be done here. I don’t know what to think, so I’ll take my time to find the words. I suggest you do the same.”

With nothing more to say, Nash walked away.  
Where once there was a storm of emotions, the only thing Max felt now was dread, settling into his heart like a black hole.  
Left alone, the first thought that crossed his mind was a question aimed at himself.  
 _What have I done?_


	3. New Threads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I can’t stop thinking about what you’ve said to me at Fallbrook.”  
> Nash said nothing, letting him talk as he stared at their hands.  
> "After that day, I tried to think of something more to say to you than just apologizing," he went on, eyes unsure where to look as his fingers tightened his grip on Nash's hand. "Days went by and still nothing, even during the Cascadia job. That's when I realized that there are no words. Nothing I say would make what I did to you and this crew right. And now... now, after Scylla, I don't know what to do with myself."

_Byzantium_

The trio consisting of Nash, Parvati, and Ellie were making their way back into the Unreliable after a slew of errands. The relative silence of the ship was broken by Parvati's exclamation as they entered, utterly buzzing with excitement.  
“Hah!” the young engineer exclaimed with a grin. “Didn’t I tell you that Celeste had a way of making you feel like you belong in such handsome clothes?”   
“Yeah, Parvati. You sure did,” Nash chuckled. He’d never once heard someone comment that he “carried himself like a noble”, but he’d chalk it up to his good posture, taught from an early age.   
Ellie raised an eyebrow in amusement, arms crossed over her chest as she followed them inside.  
"You think you can use that same skill of persuasion on Monarch?" she asked him, to which the Captain responded with a nod, resting his hand on her shoulder.   
"I'm makin' it my priority, soon as we make it back to Fallbrook. Can't have your parents makin' more money off your ridiculous "death"," Nash declared. He was originally going to take just Parvati with him, but Ellie was waiting for him right by the front door.   
After she had made her case and insisted this wasn't a "favor" on wanting to put on a show of his "worst behavior" once she reunited with her parents, Nash decided to kill two birds with one stone with this along with getting Parvati's clothes for her date with Ms. Junlei.   
  
Nash then moved to hand Parvati back her shopping bag from Jolicoeur's, waving her off as she squealed to herself and ran up the stairs to go and try it on, Ellie pleased with his answer as she made it up after her.   
Alone, his eyes flicked down to the remaining bag hanging from the fingers on his right hand.   
With a deep sigh and resolve, he walked up the stairs past his room and up to the hallway of his crewmates' rooms, stopping at the second door on his right - the ex-vicar’s door.  
The Captain listened in for a moment before knocking.  
“Max?” he called.  
He could hear movement inside the room before Max responded.  
“Come in.”

Nash made his way through the sliding metal doors. The room was emptier than he remembered. The flag of the OSI that used to hang over Max's desk was gone, burned away with most of his books and his vestments in a bonfire back on Monarch weeks ago.  
What started as another way for Max to receive some form of closure fueled by the frustration of his denial to a higher understanding became a celebration for turning over a new leaf as the whole crew joined in the burning of his possessions, drinking liquor and watching specks of fire dance up into the night sky.  
But at last, Nash's eyes landed on Max.   
His greying hair was slightly disheveled now without his constant need to gel it back behind his ears and he was dressed in a worker outfit left behind by the late Alex Hawthorne. He was sitting upright in his bed, trying to seem presentable.   
_Glorious_ , Nash thought to himself. _Unfiltered._

It had been weeks since Max's betrayal.   
The days afterward were crushing - tense and silent passings through the hallways and stairwells of the Unreliable, long and practically sleepless nights without the once frequent visits for a conversation with each other.   
The crew was understandably angry as well.  
Felix already didn't like him, and this added more fuel to the fire as he gave the ex-con ugly looks and muttered insults only he could hear in passing.  
Ellie was sucking this up in cruel amusement, wondering out loud "how long would Cap keep you here before giving you the boot."  
The only two people who didn't kick him while he was down was Parvati and Nyoka.  
The engineer, in all her compassion, understood why he did such a thing but definitely didn't agree with his actions and only hoped that he'd find what he was looking for while the hunter was blunt and even chastised him for being, in her words, "a fucking idiot" for not realizing that the care that Nash had shown each of them, including him, was genuine and not for any greater gain. To that end, she suggested the best he could do was leave the ultimate decision to the wronged party.   
  
Max could take the insults and barely stand the absence of his Captain. But what he just couldn't bear was Nash returning from the Monarch wilderness with new injuries - slashes from a mantisaur, acid burns from raptidons, and blossoming bruises from marauder gangs.   
So many times that he wasn't there. Too many times he didn't protect him.   
Just when he thought he couldn't take anymore, the Cascadia job from Sublight came in.  
Their alliance with the faction was solely for money, a means to the end since none of the crew were blind to Sublight's true inner workings.   
  
After dinner one night, Nash discussed details with the crew.  
"We get in, signal ADA to land to siphon the gas, shoot anythin' in the way and get out. Nyoka's still recoverin' from our manti-nest ambush, so we need our next heavy hitter. SAM, you're up."  
The auto mechanical gave his happy jingle in response, pleased to be brought along.   
"I'm also gonna need a hacker."  
That stirred the table, Max roused out his repressed yet melancholic silence. As he looked up, he watched as Nash was speaking to the crew's surgeon.   
"Ellie, you mind stackin' up on supplies on the off-chance we're all scrapped up when we get back?"  
"Sure. For half of what you're getting for this job," She spoke with a smirk, earning a chuckle out of the Captain.  
"I'll see what I can do. In the meantime, I'll have ADA fly us to Fallbrook to get us close enough to Cascadia."   
Before Max can get a word in, Nash had turned away from the table, his back facing him as he walked towards the stairs to prepare and SAM following after him.  
Max cleared his throat as everyone else stared at him, quickly moving out of there to not squander this chance. 

The job went as well as expected - past the horde of marauders in the abandoned town, on the brink of being shot by Rizzo's auto mechanical security team were it not for SAM's cleaning protocol and clearing out yet another mantisaur nest on this sulfur-rich moon, the finally reached the necessary terminal to hook up to ADA.   
"This is the part where I take over, Captain. Do not fret. I've been cracking systems like these for years," Max assured him, to which Nash stepped aside to give him room to work.  
"By all means. Can't be any harder than understandin' Scientism, right?"  
A smile cracked on Max's face at that.  
"Hah, I do so love when you jest with me. I will take that as an intended distraction from the stress of all that could go terribly and excruciatingly wrong should I fail."  
He didn't mean to let his sarcasm mix with his worry, but it was clear enough for Nash to stop the Vicar, resting a hand on his shoulder and looking him in the eye.  
"Hey, now. You said it yourself, you've done this thousands of times. Take a breather if you gotta. Just... don't blow it," he spoke reassuringly.   
Off-handedly, Max thought how he could make a joke with that last statement, but it would be inappropriate coming from him, being a man of the cloth.   
But he took that breather and got to work diligently, even under many pressures - like Nash's eyes staring at him.   
Max couldn't help but wonder about those golden eyes. Were they filled with that admirable confidence that he had come to love? The worry that would accompany his face? Wariness? Sadness? The mere idea of eyes filled with hatred made goosebumps rise up his arms and the determination to never gain that broken-hearted look again carried him on and soon enough, the Alta-Vitae gas was being siphoned into ADA.   
"Ah-ha! Got it. Easy as mock-apple pie." Max spoke, honestly relieved as he stepped away from the terminal.  
Nash's smile returned, also relieved as he let out a breath he was holding.  
"Not too shabby, preacher man."   
Max raised an eyebrow. While he did love having his pride stroked, that nickname had to go. Were it anyone else, they would have suffered the pain of death.   
"You can say that again. Except for that last part. Do not call me that."   
Nash nodded with a lop-sided grin, moving to give Max a pat on the back.  
"You got it. Now let's get the hell outta here." 

They kept together once again as other jobs came. And another and another until finally, after all of the crew's hard work, the Iconoclasts and MSI were coming together.   
Knowing how much this alliance meant to Nyoka, Nash brought her along to be a part of this historic moment, the three of them walking to the outskirts of Stelar Bay.   
Max had been alive for too long to believe in coincidence in the fact that this meeting was taking place in an abandoned OSI church, but it was Nash that put a voice to this.  
"Brings back memories, doesn't it?" he asked him as they stood before the structure, staring up at it with such hope. Max could only stare at Nash, remembering the hope he found in him of escape when he first entered his office in Edgewater.  
That hope has strengthened and grown towards the future as Max stood and bared witness to Nash as a moderator of this alliance, and in turn, his Captain being his support as he was denied in Scylla by the Hermit.   
Even in all his anger, his seemingly final defeat of spiritual purpose, Nash stood by, helping him then as he was helping him now in this torrent of emotions and uncertainty.  
And now, here they were in front of each other yet again, in the uncertain future that teemed with hope. 

It was Max who broke their shared silence, clearing his throat before speaking.   
“Was your shopping trip with Parvati enjoyable?” He asked.  
“Oh yes,” Nash spoke, snapping out of it as he took one of the chairs from Max’s reading desk and turned it around so the back of it was facing forward and his legs resting on either side of the chair with his arms folded over the top.   
"She's got a swell suit for her date with Tennyson for a fair price and I’m officially a model for Ms. Jolicoeur herself.”  
Max raised an eyebrow as amusement crossed his face.   
“A model? But you’re not exactly Byzantium material,” he pointed out with a teasing look-over of him.  
“Oh, but that’s just it, Max. Through me, she plans to show the raw nature outside these high walls,” he more or less repeated the designer’s goals, his voice high as he mimicked Celeste's voice, earning a snort from Max.   
"That back-handed praise had better not get to your head."  
"Believe you me, it hasn't. Rest assured, it wasn't all play and no work. Minister Clarke isn’t going anywhere. Turn's out he’s a homebody and has been for a long while. Nobody's seen him step outside. But we're in luck. I managed to get the key to his estate. Well.... after three bottles of Spectrum Vodka, that is. Ellie used her surgeon’s demeanor to convince him," Nash chuckled as he thought back to the events at the bar.  
"Your efficiency never ceases to amaze me," Max spoke before gesturing with his chin to the shopping bag resting on the floor beside Nash’s right foot. “And would that be a sample for Ms. Jolicouer's new muse?”  
“Ah, no. I’ll have to work for my clothes, unfortunately. This here is for you, Max.”

Nash took up the string handles of the shopping bag and extended it for him to take. From Max's expression, Nash could see he wasn't expecting this as he took the bag and set it beside him before reaching inside with both hands and pulling out a beautiful box with the Jolicoeur logo on the top, setting it on his lap.   
He took a moment to catch up with the surprise before flipping it open.  
Max was immediately taken by the stunning emerald green fabric and golden detailing on the shoulders and chest of a captain's uniform, buttons gleaming in the light.   
"Now, this isn't a dig at you to go ahead and join Spacer's Choice. But you have to admit that the color scheme suits you,” Nash chuckled, eyes never leaving Max's face so he could see if he liked what he had picked out for him.  
Max lifted the coat by the collar, his thumb brushing against the fine material and gasping softly at how soft it was.   
"Captain, this is extraordinary," he murmured.  
Nash couldn't help but smile at the look of admiration in Max's eyes as the man observed every detail of his gift.   
"...Well. I reckon you wanna try it on, so I'll get to it," he cleared his throat, moving to get up and leave the room, but he didn't get far. His right hand was grabbed by Max's left, making him pause and look over his shoulder to see Max staring up at him and although he didn't say it, he knew he was asking him to stay.   
With a sigh and a small smile, Nash relented, returning the hold on his hand as he moved to sit next to him on the bed.   
Now that they were side by side, Max had set aside his gift and was balancing what to say next before speaking again.  
“I can’t stop thinking about what you’ve said to me at Fallbrook.”  
Nash said nothing, letting him talk as he stared at their hands.  
"After that day, I tried to think of something more to say to you than just apologizing," he went on, eyes unsure where to look as his fingers tightened his grip on Nash's hand. "Days went by and still nothing, even during the Cascadia job. That's when I realized that there are no words. Nothing I say would make what I did to you and this crew right. And now... now, after Scylla, I don't know what to do with myself."  
It was a hard pill for Max to swallow when faced with that truth, but there was no denying it. Years of hard work halted, so close but so far. He was furious, confused, even melancholic.   
So, his next chance was looking for answers from his Captain, even when he was less than deserving but certainly desperate. And finally, Nash gave his answer.   
  
"Live."  
Max looked to Nash, his eyebrows pressed together in confusion and watching as Nash moved his other hand to hold Max's hand in both of his.   
"Take it day by day if you gotta. But don't quit on the future 'cause one door of possibility's shut."  
The older man felt his teeth bite into his lower lip as he stared down at their hands, his own surrounded in Nash's warm palms, calloused by the hard work of two lives.  
“I just wanted the peace they had," Max breathed out with a shaky voice, making Nash frown, saddened that his companion was still searching and waiting for a great final answer to life.  
"I'm sorry how things went on Scylla. Really, I am. I know what it's like to want more for yourself and out of life. There's nothin' wrong with it unless you let it eat you alive. And it almost did."  
Max bowed his head at that, still ashamed that he allowed it to get that far.   
"But y'know somethin'? The planets still turn, the sun rises and falls. New days start. And we're a part of that. We may be the only living things that look forward to tomorrow," he removed one of his hands in order to settle it on the center of Max's back in a reassuring gesture.   
Max's shoulders sagged as he heavily sighed, picking his head back up and running his fingers through his hair.  
"I can't-... I don't want to do any of that without you," he said quietly.   
"Then don't," Nash whispered.

Nash moved to lace their fingers, Max pausing as he watched how their fingers threaded before looking to his Captain, who was smiling weakly up at him.   
"Heh. It's funny when you think about it. If in Scientism, everything happens for a reason and is inevitable... then it was destiny for me to fall in love with you.”  
Max felt his own breath stop at that, his green eyes widening. He knew he should answer but all he could do was stare at this man who made such a powerful confession look so easy. He really had been a fool for not realizing sooner.  
Nash's sigh was shaky, and Max could feel his hand trembling.  
"In case these last few weeks weren't clear enough, I forgive you, Max. But this can't happen again," He emphasized as his golden eyes were brimming with tears. "Because I've got a lotta heart for you and I'll be damned if you break it a second time."  
Max shook his head quickly, letting go of his hand so he could hold both sides of Nash's face.   
"There won't be a second time, I swear to you," he promised, brushing his tears away with his thumbs.  
From the moment they met, Max was captivated by Nash, truly believing he held the promise of something greater - his symbol of hope. He was only alive because this otherworldly man never gave up on him.   
So he showed his gratitude in the kiss he pressed to his forehead, in the "thank you" whispered in the space between them.

Max heard Nash gasp softly, and before he could pull away, Nash leaned up for another kiss, his fingers threading through his hair.   
It was an unpracticed but honest kiss, one that made Max pull Nash closer as his arms wrapping around his body, feeling their heartbeats and sharing each other's breath in this space.   
The truth was that both men were petrified of what may come in this cruel world. But knowing that they wouldn't be alone made the unknown worth fighting for. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (SPOILER ALERT FOR PERIL ON GORGON DLC)
> 
> So... anybody want to talk about those human cubes?

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I think I've drained this game of all the possible endings and even then, I hope I got Max's character down pact. Expect more parts in the future!


End file.
